Looking at you through the glass

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
Not to worry, I am not about to delve into the murky, painful depths of unrequited love here. I suppose I just have a few things I would like to get off my chest, if you will. There is only about 2 months left of my time here at Malone...a fact that I both celebrate and hold with an unsatisfied constitution. I've been thinking about leaving here a lot lately...when the semester ends, and I am thrust once more into an uncertain world as I desperately attempt to fit all the pieces together. Work is inevitable, and oddly enough looked forward to. I'll like having a place to go to where I can just do my duties and go home, not having to carefully plot out interpersonal relationships/communications, class schedules, and future plans all at once.
I was trying to become something/someone different when I came back from spring break, and unfortunately, the person I currently "am" is not nearly close to what was planned. So says a woman silently scorned. I got myself all worked up over an impossible dream...a dream that with each passing day faded more and more. Each time I took a drag or a vulgar word or comment slipped from my mouth, I mentally chided myself for failing to be "more amazing."
Tonight I am restless. At the moment, it truly seems as though I have nothing going for me, really. Being static or apathetic on this matter will lead to the same result; however, to be honest I don't know exactly where to go (or where I want to go) from here. Perhaps there is such a thing as a good suprise in my life, perhaps something big (good, not bad) will happen, and the course of this life's ship shall be altered, hopefully set in a completely different direction.
Such are the musings of an unquiet mind.